Are you gay!
by renjisgirl12
Summary: Renji and Ichigo are roommates in college. See what happens when Renji learns of Ichigo's big secret. 'Not based on actual plot'


He stopped playing his guitar abruptly and looked up at me startled.

"Dude, did you just say you're gay?" Renji said in a shocked voice, but it was more like he couldn't believe it rather than just surprised. I searched his eyes for any sign that he was joking, but found none. I took a deep breath and looked down at the mouse mat on the computer desk in front of me. I didn't want him to find out this way. I wanted to tell him when I confessed my love for him, but that was never going to happen, so I wasn't going to tell him. I guess I have to, seeing as I let it slip.

"Err...well...I...yeah I'm gay" I answered in a nervous voice. I waited patiently for his reply, preparing myself for the sinking feeling in my heart when he tells me he's straight, crushing all hopes of ever making it with him. When Renji didn't speak I chanced a look at him. His eyebrows were set low, his eyes distant. I saw different emotions flash past his eyes as he continued to stare at the floor to the side of me. The hand which held the neck of his electric blue guitar were tapping frantically – something he did whenever he was unsure what to do or going through what we call his 'internal panic' - and I was starting to get worried and impatient.

Renji was the kind of guy who had a different girl come round our room every few nights, give 'em a good time, and then we wouldn't see them again. Not in a bad way, he was just horny. He was a very typical college guy; well liked, attractive, musical, smart and funny. It was no wonder he was successful with all the girls –especially the ones who flung themselves at him for a quickie. Nothing about him screamed gay, or even bi. So I made sure I was out of his way when he had company. It was bad enough I had to hear them 'doing it' let alone it being the guy I secretly loved. But as much as I've tried, I can't stop loving him.

The air became thick. The tension started to melt any hope of this going smoothly. The silence was killing me.

"Say something please...anything, I don't care if it's just a mumble. If it will get you to talk, you can hit me. Just don't say nothing...the silence is worse than anything" I exclaimed, panic obvious in my rambling voice. It was in high school that I decided to come out. I told my best friend Rukia, first, obviously. But when she said I was a piece of you-know-what and outed me, only to be picked on by the whole school and not even care to defend me, I decided I wouldn't tell anyone unless I had to - including Renji. I don't think I could live through the pain of that again. I didn't even tell my dad about my preferences until I left for college. It was better that way, because if he decided it was too much to handle, then I would be at college, out of his way.

That surprisingly wasn't the case, though. I'd expected beatings and rations for the rest of my life, but instead I got the reaction I'd wanted from my ex-best friend, and another outing! That was the biggest shock of them all. Turns out that my younger sister Karin is in fact bisexual. since then she's been my best friend outside of college, and the shoulder to cry on when I didn't want to bother dad about my feelings towards Renji.

"Please just do something already!" I half-shouted. "I've seen that look before, so don't just sit there, hit me, tell me how much you're disgusted by me, kick me out, I don't care, just do something!" I finished, standing up, on the verge of tears. I didn't want to loose Renji, I didn't want to get beaten up or kicked out, but I was wrong when I thought rejection was the worst feeling in the world.

This is.

Renji finally moved out of his freeze frame position to stand in front of me, placing his guitar back on the stand next to the bed. I looked at him through blurry eyes, my attempt at not crying failing miserably. I flinched as his arm came up from beside his body and connected with my back. but not in the form of a punch, in the form of a hug. I tensed slightly as I stood there confused.

"W...what?" I said, my voice cracking. Renji's embrace tightened as he replied.

"I'm sorry I made you cry Ichigo, I was just really shocked, because I thought you were asexual or something. I mean, I've never seen you check anybody out, girl or guy. But that's not really a good enough reason for making you cry, I'm sorry" He explained sounding genuinely sorry. I relaxed and let my hands hold his hips and my head rest on his shoulder, my tears most likely soaking his Muse shirt he got at a concert last semester. Renji swayed side to side gently as he tried to comfort me, something he's never been good at - especially when it comes to breaking up with girls - but strangely his gentle rocks and comforting whispers were actually working. But then again, I was standing there hugging the guy I love. I stiffened and pulled off of him quickly when my brain finally registered how close I was to hugging him romantically.

"I...um...thanks, but y-you don't have t-to act gay to c-comfort me" I stammered, rushing my lie. He may know I'm gay, but that doesn't mean I'm saying any more. One secret at a time thank you. I blushed, my cheeks reddening as I found I still felt his touch on my skin. God this was so embarrassing! It was obvious I like him, I mean, i just hugged him and now I'm blushing. The look on Renji's face seemed to say he noticed, but inconsistently he just shook off my sudden outburst, grabbed his guitar and sat down.

"I ain't got a problem with you being gay, so you won't have to worry 'bout that. So... there anyone you like? Do you like jock type or geek type? Do you know any other gay guys?" he laughed excited. I was pretty sure he had noticed, but apparently not. I blushed at the unpracticed attention as I sat down next to him, replacing his hands which were patting the bed. I suppose It couldn't hurt to answer some questions...right? I laughed off the majority of my blush, leaving only a subtle pink tinge on my cheeks.

"Whoa, one question at a time please! you know my memory sucks!" I bellowed. Renji thought for a moment and smiled as he began playing a song he wrote called 'Hideout', which was one of his favourites.

" Ok so...what's your type?" He asked. I thought for a moment, my mind flashing through all the guys I've liked, trying to find a stereotype. By the looks of things, all of the guys I've liked are musical, outgoing and experienced. Like Renji. Oh dear. I can't tell Renji the truth, he'll figure it out, then he will definitely hate me. But he did miss that obvious blush earlier. I'm going to go for it, I mean, he did say he was ok with me, and he wont necessarily assume I'm talking about him.

"I guess, I'm a sucker for humour, music and the confident type. I'm not really into stereotypes though" I answered honestly. Renji nodded as he listened and started playing 'dirty little secret' by all American rejects, which was my favourite. I smiled widely. not just because of the song, but because i was talking to Renji in the way I've wanted to since we first met. open and honestly...well almost honest.

"Next question" Renji said, interrupting my thoughts. "Do you know any other gay guys?" He asked.

"No, I don't really talk to people enough to know something that personal" I answered instantly. The one thing I've found the weirdest is that, even though I don't really talk much until you get to know me, and I'm quite laid back and easy going, people still like me. I'm actually very popular, apparently one of the hottest guys in our year! But regardless of that, nobody actually knows the real me. Only my sisters and quite possibly Renji. Honestly I don't get it. Renji looked a bit disappointed. "Why are you disappointed?" I asked.

"Oh its just that, that completely ruins my next few questions" He said simply. Obviously the look on my face gave away my confusion as he explained. "If you had said yes, I was going to ask if you've secretly dated and slept with anyone, and then I was going to make you explain the details of your sex life, because you get the cutest blushes when your embarrassed. But seeing as it was a no, I'm going to have to think up some more. Wait. does that mean your...well you know, what I've well and truly lost ?" Renji asked. He like to boast about his sex life to me, maybe its been to get a reaction to see who i like. well more what i like.

I blushed furiously at his words. "See that's what i mean. so cute and innocent" Renji added, his hand motioning towards my face as he put his guitar back on the stand. "well?" He urged as he sat back down next to me. I blushed even darker as i replied.

"Um...y-yeah, I-I'm st-still a virgin" Renji put his hand on my knee.

"Hey that's nothing you need to be embarrassed about! But if it helps, I bet that as soon as people know your gay, you'll have guys practically throwing themselves at you. I mean, your really fi-attractive" He exclaimed. Was he about to say fit? I looked up from my lap where his hand still was and looked at him. Was that a blush on his face?! Renji seemed to read my mind and quickly looked down, his vivid red hair covering his eyes. What was he talking about? Me being attractive. He was the attractive one. My honey brown eyes and weird orange hair was nothing compared to him. Even if I was as attractive as Renji says, he would still be god-like to me.

"I'm nothing special. I don't get girls trying to flirt with me like you do, let alone any guys. I suck at being gay. I suck at being straight. Shit, I couldn't even be bi if i tried. And because of that I ain't even done anything with anyone. Not even a stupid meaningless kiss! that" I motioned towards Renji's hand on my knee "Is the most sex I've had will probably ever will have!" I growled in anger and annoyance at myself.

There was a short pause as Renji let me calm down. I let out a long sigh. "I don't believe that" Renji practically whispered. I scowled at my knee as Renji's hand gripped tighter.

"Oh really? then who Renji, tell me who would want to kiss me? Because I certainly ain't got a damn clue" I barked. In the corner of my eye I saw Renji flinch at the raw tone in my voice.

Suddenly Renji's hand very slowly made its way up my thigh as he leaned in closer to me. His mouth was so close to my ear I could feel his breath, his hand was almost on my crotch when he decided to stop. "I would" He purred, his lips brushing against my earlobe as he spoke. My breathing became heavy as i slowly turned my head to look at Renji. thankfully he leaned back a bit, so i could see him properly. Was this some kind of a joke? Maybe it was a test to see if I would try to make a move on him. Of course! No-one as straight as Renji would be ok with sharing a room with a gay guy if he knew they liked him. And most certainly wouldn't flirt with a guy unless it were a dare. I looked straight forward at nothing particular.

I didn't know what to do. My brain was telling me I should push him away and not wreck everything i have with Renji, after all i'd prefer him as a friend then not at all, but my body wanted to lean in and kiss him like the hundreds of times I have in my dreams. my brain wanted out and was in a state of panic. my body wanted him and was...hard?! Oh god please Renji, don't look down or move your hand and further up.

I was desperately trying to figure out a way I could save myself without destroying the chance of getting with him, but all thoughts went out of the window when I felt his tongue lick the sensitive bit of skin just behind my ear, making me shiver. I closed my eyes instinctively as he began licking sucking down my neck, until he found the sensitive spot making me emit a small moan. I felt Renji's classic smirk against my neck as he continued to attack my neck. I bit my lip forcing back another moan which was building in the back of my throat, threatening to emerge. "Ra-renji ahhhh wh-what are y-you doing uhhh" I asked groaning in pleasure.

Renji pulled back and as I sighed in relief, but Renji wasn't finished as he slid his hand further up and began rubbing me through my jeans, making me suck back in air violently. "Isn't it obvious...your body obviously gets it" His hand rubbed harder for a second "Doesn't it". He looked me in the eyes and I saw no hesitance, or any sign that he was testing me. I saw only lust, and something else I couldn't name. "Well, me and your body definitely want this, but do you?" He asked in a husky voice that made me blush darker and get ten times harder. He wants me?

With that realisation I needed no more prompting. I turned to face him and kissed him with all the passion I felt for him. As we pulled off each other panting, I could see the obvious blush on Renji's face and the look in his eye I couldn't name. Except now I knew what it was. It was love. My heart expanded a million times as I pulled him down and laid back, making it so he was on top, looking down at me. He swiveled round so he had a knee on either side of my hip, and a hand on either side of my head, as he looked down at me lustfully and lovingly at the same time.

I looked up at him and surprised myself to find I was smiling rather sexily at him. Renji seemed just as surprised as his eyes widened, his blush darkened and he sat down on my crotch. I gasped as his weight put much wanted pressure on my hard-on. Renji seemed to enjoy the noises I made as I felt him shiver above me, rubbing my hard-on making me moan in pleasure. My hands made their way up his thighs, his hips, and under his shirt. I had the joy of hearing his sharp in-take of air as I felt his well toned abs, feeling them twitch hungrily at my touch. I reached up further and rubbed the pad of my thumb against one of his nipples and was rewarded with a full on groan. I blushed happily and sat up so he was still on my crotch, but I could lick the other nipple, stifling a long moan from Renji.

My free hand buried itself into Renji's hair and gripped tightly, making him sigh softly. I felt Renji's hands slide up my legs, stopping at my hips to pull off my shirt, sliding his hands up to my nipples and pushed me firmly, forcing me to lay down. One hand continued to tease a nipple, twisting and pulling, as he bent down to suck and nip on my other one. I moaned as his tongue made contact with my nipple. One of my hands holding his hip, the other still buried in his hair. "Oh god renji....Damn! that a tongue with experience for you" I half moaned half joked. suddenly Renji stopped everything and sat up, detaching my hands from his hair, and hip, and held them at the sides of my head. I thought he wanted to be in control, but when I saw the serious look in his eyes I stopped smiling. "what's wrong Renji?" I asked, concern heavy in my voice. Renji looked back at me with a hint of hesitation.

"D-do you really love me or do you just want my body for turning you on?" He asked, sadness lining his question. My heart sank to the bottom of the ocean.

"What! Of course I love you, I've loved you since we first met, I've had to control myself all this time to not molest you, so it definitely wasn't that". Renji seemed genuinely happy at my answer. "Renji, do you mind if i ask what your feeling? I mean, are you bi? What was with all the girls?"I asked. I saw the look on Renji's face. "Sorry for all the questions, you don't have to answer if you don't want" I added.

"No its fine. To tell you the truth I've liked you a lot since I met you too, but like I said before I thought you were asexual so I never said anything. And I am bisexual yes, but I wasn't going to tell anyone unless I was going to date a guy, and you are the only one I like -guy or girl. And those girls, they were just for sex because I couldn't risk jerking off with you there because then I would of been the one doing the molesting. I knew that if I was with a girl then I physically wouldn't be able to molest you. And the only reason I'm apparently so good at sex is because I imagine I'm sleeping with you" Renji explained shyly with a blush on his face.

I smiled widely at him. "Umm, sorry to ruin our little talk but I'm about to burst if we don't do something, which we don't have to, I mean, if you don't want" I retorted. Renji blushed and let go of my hands to rest his on my chest, and I re-attached my hands to his hips. I began breathing heavily again, my hard-on pulsing, crying for attention.

Renji looked down at me and blushed darkly. "Umm, I w-want to b-be bottom c-because I sleep w-with g-girls too and I d-don't want to be unc-unclean like t-that, I-I mean n-not t-that it i-is unclean I-I ju-" I stopped his stuttering but putting a finger over his lips.

"Renji its ok I get what you mean, and I don't mind whether I'm top or bottom, just so long as its with you" I said, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

"Thanks Ichi" He said. It was like he gained all of his confidence back as he flipped us over so I was sitting on him. "Like I said. I want to be bottoms" He purred in my ear before laying down. That was enough patience for me as I leant down and kissed him deeply as I started to unbutton his shirt. In the frenzy of our kissing I couldn't get the buttons through the holes quick enough for my liking so I broke away from the kiss, hearing Renji whimper at the loss of attention, and ripped it open, the buttons flying everywhere. I saw the blood rush to his face and felt his erection pressing harder than ever against me, and his eyes widen at the action. He obviously didn't know I was strong when I wanted to be. If he liked that, then he was in for a real treat. I took the rest of the shirt off of him and once again began sucking on one of his nipples, whilst I teased the other between my finger and thumb. I felt Renji squirm in pleasure underneath me, and then moan loudly when I started to bite gently on the sensitive nub.

I decided to kick things up a few notches so I kept one hand teasing a nipple, the other sliding down to cup his hard-on through his trousers, as I leant upwards to nip, kiss and suck at the sensitive spot between his neck and shoulder. I felt Renji suddenly shiver, moan and his skin get hotter as I over powered his senses. I slid the hand which was on his crotch down to his thigh as I began grinding him, feeling my hard-on rub his as we both moaned louder than before.

I pulled off of him as I un-did his trousers and slid them off, caressing his legs as I went. I saw his erection twitch in anticipation as I pulled apart his legs and began kissing and nipping his inner thigh. Renji gasped loudly when I bit down. "Ahhh I-Ichigo please uhh s-stop teasing me p-please" He begged. It was the biggest turn on ever. I couldn't help but comply as I slid down his black boxers to reveal his aching hard-on. It was about average length, but now I understood why the girls were so pleased by his performance. He was very thick. I couldn't help but blush a little as I held it in my hand.

As soon as I began slowly pumping the hard organ Renji gasped and moaned in pleasure. "Yesss I-Ichi...oh god! that feels so good ahhh" Renji mewled as my hand got faster and faster. Renji's breathing got heavier, his eyes scrunched shut, his mouth open slightly, lips moist. speaking of lips... Renji's hands suddenly were clamped in my hair, nails digging into my scalp, when I slid my tongue along the slit, lapping up the pre-cum that had gathered there. I looked up to see Renji's flushed face and half lidded eyes looking back at me, beckoning me to continue. Ilicked the under-side of his hard-on, from the bottom to the top, and then took Renji's erection in my mouth and began bobbing up and down rhythmically. I had to hold down Renji's hips as he began bucking into my mouth as he drew nearer the edge.

"Ahhh god Ichi! I'm s-so c-close! faster harder! p-please sucker harder!" Renji moaned as I began sucking faster and harder, taking as much of him in my mouth as I could. I heard his breathing become ragged and I new he was close. I deep throated him, his length almost gagging me, but it wasn't unpleasant, and I sucked hard as I drew back up. When I got half way I tried biting down gently on his member.

That did it...

"Ahhh Ichigo, I'm...I'm going to cum...ahhhh!" Renji groaned in pleasure as he came in my mouth. I struggled to swallow it all, some of it escaping down my lip to my chin. Renji released his grip on my hair as he sat up to lick up the cum on my face and pulled me into a passionate kiss, our tongues dancing in our mouths. "God i taste hot" He laughed in a breathless voice. Renji eyed my trousers. "Your turn" he said undoing my belt.

"How could I forget?" I replied sexily. Renji yanked off my trousers and my boxers soon followed. We re-attached in a deep kiss, tongues playing passionately, my naked body rubbing and mouldings against his and I could feel Renji starting to get hard again. I laid him down and held three of my fingers to his mouth. "Suck" I commanded and Renji took them into his mouth and began sucking and licking up and down them, his eyes on mine the whole time. The action brought my attention back to my throbbing erection, begging to be touched, and I let out a moan and took back my fingers. I spread open Renji's legs and held a finger to his tight entrance. I looked up at Renji. "It will feel weird and hurt, but it will get better" I reminded him, checking he was really ready.

"I know" Was all he said before I pushed in one finger. I felt him tense and he clamped down on the digit. I looked up as he let out a long breath, and released his grip on my finger. I slowly pulled my finger in and out until he was comfortable with the motion, and I added another finger. He tensed again, but this time it wasn't as much as i was still able to push in and out. After a few thrusts I began scissoring his tight hole, stretching him further when I accidently brushed against a certain bundle of nerves. "Ahh Ichi!" Renji moaned in pleasure.

"Found your prostate" i said with a smirk. I rubbed against his prostate a couple of times before adding a third finger. When I felt Renji start to tense I pumped his hard-on a few times with my free hand until I could thrust my fingers in and out easily. I scissored him again quickly and pulled my fingers out, making Renji whimper. I got into position above him, my hard-on lightly touching his entrance, one hand on his hip, the other next to Renji's head for support. Renji's hands were on my shoulders, his knees bent wide, ready. I looked him in the eyes. "This will hurt a bit, are you sure?" I asked him. Renji looked up at me, confidence shining in his eyes.

"Yes I am" he replied. And with that I slowly started pushing into him. Once the head had passed the tight ring of muscle it was easier to push in, but Renji suddenly clamped down and hissed. I looked up to see tears forming in his eyes and blood appearing where he was biting his lip from the pain. I kissed his tears away, and pulled his legs around my waist.

"You can bite my shoulder if you need something to distract you" I said simply, leaning forward as I pushed in again. Renji didn't tense as much as last time, instead he was biting my shoulder and clawing at my shoulder blades. I chose to just hiss as I knew Renji would be in much more pain. We finally fell into a slow and steady rhythm and Renji's laboured pants became pleasured moans.

"Ahh Ichi, faster" Renji moaned. I sped up and moaned at the feeling, his velvet insides massaging my erection perfectly. I decided to try something I'd heard somewhere and rolled my hips in time with my thrusts, and Renji's eyes widened, glazed over with pleasure, and his grip on my shoulder blades tightened. "Ahh oh my god yesss Ichi r-right t-there! harder" Renji mewled as I was hitting his prostate with every thrust. I began thrusting as fast and hard as I could and moaned along with Renji as we both grew close to the edge.

When I felt myself near my release I began pumping Renji's hard-on in time with my thrusts, and Renji's insides suddenly clamped down on my member and came over our chests "ahhh Ichigooo" he moaned. Renji's orgasm practically milked my orgasm out of me and I came a few thrusts later inside him. I slowly pulled out of him and rolled over to the side of him, both of us trying to steady our breathing.

"wow" I breathed. Cuddling into Renji's chest.

Renji held me tightly "Yeah" He replied.

"I love you Renji" I said falling asleep, but not before I heard Renji's reply

"I love you too Ichigo" He whispered before drifting off to sleep with with me in his arms.


End file.
